The Mystery of Cups and Glasses

Another day at the office, even though, yes, it's Saturday. I was just in Toronto for a week, and I cleaned up before I left. Now, back at the office, the lunch table is sticky, trash is lying here and there. How hard is it to put trash in the trash can? There are about 20 cups and glasses sitting about. The dishwasher sits empty. For there to be that many cups and glasses, each person who works here must have used a fresh cup or glass each time he/she had a drink of water, then left the cups and glasses sitting out on the table, on the counter, in the sink. Never in the dishwasher. Never in the dish drainer. Never in their office.

I know this is just about the most boring thing to write about of all time, but I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I just don't. These are all smart people. They know there is no maid, no servant, not even a lowly employee to clean up after them. I am left to believe that the people who work in this office just REALLY LIKE TO SEE about 20 cups and glasses sitting around. It's an aesthetic thing. Or some kind of an art project.

The Sword Is Mightier Than The Pen

That other saying has been around so long, people just go on believing it means something anymore. Ha! Not that I'm cynical, but a fine example is Bill Belichick, recently, after being caught cheating. I watched the football game last night, just to see how a man who just got half a million dollars taken away from him might look while standing on the edge of a grassy field. No more designer suits for this guy, he was wearing on old sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off. His pants held up by a belt made of twine. He looked like his hair was cut with dull, pre-school scissors.

But I'm guessing that's how he always looks. I'm guessing he's NOT REALLY parting with half a million dollars. And I'm positive that if they keep winning, he will keep his job, and his popularity. He can even continue to cheat, as long as he doesn't get caught again.

Happy Flowers

They are jack hammering outside the window here. I mean it's really loud-- so loud I can't hear the phone ring, and usually the phone is really annoying. I didn't think a think like this jack hammering could bother me so much, but this is literally driving me crazy. So I'm going to try to concentrate on happy things, before I start breaking things.

Happy flowers afrit! Deer jump about in the mezzanine, zoftigging each other with pomp and whelk! Gumboils explode in blue, white and pink cosmography, running the foolery into my rayon suit pants, soiled by my trimmer in the sidecar! I mean soiled by my spilt sidecar cocktail in the trimmer! I mean trimmed by the spilt soil in the milch garden! Torso reverses, soused solid, used sough fads shooed areas anoxia sic soak avoid kipsie flowers afrit! Deer jump, zoftigging each other wit pomp amends whelk! In blue, white and pink cosmography, running my solids trough used sough fads and shooed areas anoxia soiled in mother milch’s garden! Torso souses solid, used a sough fads shooed areas anoxia sic soak avoid Hippie flowers afrit! Deer jumble zoftigging and whelk! in blue, white and pink in the milch gardenia! torso souses solid red sough fads shooed areas anoxia sic steak avoid Harpie flowers afrit! Deer jump, zoftigging other with pomp and chef! in blue, white and pink cosmography, ruff running tool he is my solid used a sough fads shooed areas anoxia soil in the party! tariffs of savvies so used a sough fads shooed areas anoxia sic soak avoid Hyrpie frowners afrit!, Deer jump, zoftigging each other with faced whelk! in blue, white and pink…

LULL

I was walking into the office by one of the new condos going up, and I noticed this orange lift machine with the word "LULL" on it in huge letters. By lift machine I mean some kind of construction machine that looks to be a combination of a cherry-picker and a bulldozer. It looks like it can move around easily and hoist large objects up into the air. The letters LULL were painted prominently on the side, obviously the name of the company that makes the machine. I don't know if the letters are an acronym for something, or somebody’s name, or perhaps a descriptive phrase.

As I walked by the machine I noticed several workers, construction workers wearing hardhats, standing around idly. One man was leaning against the machine, and another was smoking . One had his hands in his pockets, and one was talking absentmindedly on a cell phone, stumbling back and forth. One of the men was drinking a cup of coffee. I think at least three of them were smoking, actually.

It then occurred to me that perhaps LULL was the wrong thing to write on the side of machinery. Perhaps LULL was the wrong message to be presenting to your workers. It occurred to me that they have been working on this particular condo FOREVER, and it's not like it's an architectural gem or anything. It essentially looks like PROJECTS with BALCONIES.

Dylan

I ran into Bob Dylan over labor day weekend, and had a nice visit. We went out for a quick bite-- Bob had a lettuce wrap thing, and I had a super burrito with cole slaw on the side. We both had iced coffee. It was kind of hot out. No, wait, Bob had rock juice. He didn't find the name ironic or stupid, or make any kind of comment on being embarrassed about ordering something as ridiculous sounding as rock juice. I guess I kind of envied him there. I was thinking, that's kind of when you know your mind is on other things. He can probably eat a snickerdoodle cookie without cringing, and he can probably call a blog a blog. I asked him about this movie with Todd Haynes, and he seemed kind of pleased with it. He said it was the kind of thing he'd have done years ago, and everyone would give him shit about it. I said everyone will probably give Todd Haynes shit about it now, and he said, maybe so, but not the kind of shit he would’ve got, or still would. I asked is that because you're Bob Dylan, and people want you to write songs and not make movies? He said, of course, if Todd Haynes recorded a double album with 10 minute long songs and cryptic lyrics, people would certainly give him shit, but not that much. Especially if it was good. I said then why? He said, something like, well, I'll get shit for buying a Volvo, or using Tide detergent, or dressing in all green. I said, yeah, I suppose you're right. And he said, so, do you still want to be me? And I said, hell no. I never wanted to be anyone but....


Air France