I'm Not Gay!

Once again I turn on the radio in the morning to hear a man pleading in a press conference, "I'm not gay!"-- and I think, I'm sure I'm not the only one this sounds weird to, but apparently the commentators at NPR don't think it's weird. It's kind of like having a press conference to announce, "I'm not a Capricorn!" or "I don't eat chicken!" What's the deal with this? I thought we were moving into the future. Oh, no, that's right-- we are moving into the dark ages, or the DARK AGES, the NEW Dark Ages. Sometimes I think that mortality is like a race to a peaceful place before an insane world becomes unbearable.

I even had to read about this Idaho Senator a little-- what happened. It seems he was making well known public restroom signals to an undercover cop. (Aren't there real crimes being committed in Idaho?) How come I don't know these signals? You mean I could go to a rest stop bathroom and tap my foot a few times and get arrested? What if I was humming a popular show tune in the shitter-- could I possibly get life in prison? Is my habit of smiling at strangers on the street putting me at risk with the vice squad? And what are police doing camping out in bathrooms, waiting for people to meet up? Are there police in pickup bars, waiting for you to buy someone a drink, and then-- to jail? I've had men say things to me that I've interpreted as a proposition-- though I'm always unsure-- but I usually find it’s pretty easy to smile and say, "no thanks" or even shake my head no-- and I usually see no need to call 911.

We shouldn't be so surprised that politicians are so frequently involved in sex scandals. They are politicians! We shouldn't be surprised if occasionally a boxer beats the shit out of someone-- though really, boxers seem to have a bit more control, generally, than politicians. But that's what boxers do. What politicians do is say, "Vote for ME! Love ME! LOVE Me!" It's all about love, right?

Anyway, so what's this guy saying? In announcing loudly, in public, "I'm not gay!"-- he's not necessarily saying he thinks it's bad to be gay, or is he? Shouldn't HIS WIFE be the person he's saying I'm not gay to? Is he saying?-- "I'm not gay, I just like to have sex with anonymous men in public restrooms! But I'm not gay!" I guess he IS saying: "It's bad to be gay, but I'm not gay, I'm just a public restroom perv, LOVE ME! LOVE ME!"

Horrible Depression

I've fallen into a horrible depression, for no apparent reason except for the internet, and bad TV, and fatty foods, the full moon, incessant rain, and no exercise. Did I forget to mention, no exercise? Did I say, no exercise?

No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. No I'm not, I'm feeling. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No I'm not, I'm feeling. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No, I'm not. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. No I'm not, I'm feeling. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. No I'm not, I'm feeling. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am. No I'm not, I'm feeling OK. Yes, I am, really. Really, no. I'm not. I'm not OK. OK, I am.

Preparations for World Spanning Journey Continue

It is a busy time during the waning hot and humid days of August. While continuing my tour with the crazy nuts at Found Magazine, I'm also busy planning my upcoming World Tour. This will be like no other world tour you've ever heard of. Tentatively referred to as the "Around the World in 80 Days Tour" it will be a slow speed, meandering, almost directionless foray into the upper atmosphere of this place we call Earth. Only superficially connected to any actual geography, this tour is more about what is "up there." Is it brighter? Is it cleaner? Perhaps the air is too thin for any coherency. We shall see. Stay tuned!

I remain,



Air France

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Slow to Anger

I was supposed to shoot with Frankie this morning, but he didn't show up at 9:30 as planned. I just looked over at my calendar to see if maybe I had the day or the date wrong, or the time wrong-- sometimes I get all upset about something and it turns out I am wrong, just totally wrong. I am the jackass, the dumbass! I don't mind admitting when I am wrong. But no-- it was this morning, our date, the plan, the date, the day, the time. My time, in as much as one can own time, which one can't (that is, unless you buy a piece from Calico Jack!) So-- nothing-- and planning to shoot affects my sleep. It's not that I don't get any, but the day ahead definitely affects my dreams. I would be mad, but I am worried. I have to be worried, not mad because I don't know if anything might have happened to him/her that might have prevented him/her from making the rendezvous. It is dark today. So dark. It is making me feel kind of creepy. I hope everything is okay. One nice thing about not getting mad now, but later, is that there is always a time for anger. But sometimes if you wait, you realize that it's not worth your time and effort anyway. The ship has sailed, and you realize that not only are you glad you aren't on it, you are much better off reading about the ship later, and watching the movie of the week.

A New Beginning

I have made a rash decision to make a new start in life beginning with a new name. I will no longer be using the name I used to use (I'm not even going to mention it anymore) and I expect all of my acquaintances to only use my new name. After my name change is complete and instituted, I will then move onto other areas of my life.

The name I will now be using for all correspondence and socialization, including greetings, farewells, and fond embraces, will be Air France. There is no first name, no last name, no surname, no nickname. Though, I suppose, as names go, you can call me anything you want to. Please don't call me by my old name, though. I will not respond to it. "Air" will be okay, if overly familiar, and "France" will be acceptable. "Air France" will be best.

"Why" is the question I am most asked, about most things, and I'm sure it will come up in this case as well. Because change is good, is a good answer. I believe in change, and in reaching somewhat further than necessary or even desirable in order to achieve that change.

So please join me in my new life, in this new place, and with this new outlook. What is new and good for me will be new and good for you, too. And, I sincerely believe, for the world.

I am:

Air France